Monday, July 16, 2007

The Enemy of my Enemy is my friend?

There are some moments in life that define who we are, how we live our lives, and how we view others. Think of 9-11, the moon landing, or yesterdays real life like a sports movie Astros game. I had one today. There are lots of movies out there (including The Angstbunny, Melgar, and Timmy now available on DVD http://www.yguyfilms.com). But none are as great, none as technically and artistically perfect...none as capable of changing our lives forever than the film Alien Vs. Predator.
We have HBO here in New York as a result of a special plan for our Internet and digital phone. So when Alien Vs. Predator came on I thought, "I was going to smash my testicles with a hammer today...but instead I'll watch Alien Vs. Predator". And I'm glad I did.
Alien Vs Predator is a love story, wrapped in a buddy picture, wrapped in a cautionary tale about the dangers of smoking.
Once upon a time there is this black girl that likes to go climbing on ice and glaciers and shit. So this billionaire's satellites sees a hidden underground pyramid in Antarctica. This is near those Marching Penguins. There was some in the movie. Who is those penguins agents?
So, the billionaire is dying from lung cancer (smoking message) and he wants to uncover the pyramid. So he assembles a crack team including a hot Italian archaeologist, the Scottish guy that played Spud in Trainspotting and a chick that looks like Geoffrey Muller. So then the billionaire says, "hey, Black girl that likes to climb on ice and glaciers and shit. lead my team". So she does. She is gruff and no nonsense because if you fuck around with ice...that shit WILL KILL YOU!
So when they get there someone has already dug a tunnel to the bottom of the pyramid. who would do such a thing? Why the Predators! Yes, those rasta-squids are back, and ready for fun. What you soon find out is that the pyramid is from the founding civilization on Earth. They know this because the hieroglyphs are in ancient Egyptian, Cambodian, and Aztec. Never mind that these civilizations arose at three different times over a period of 6000 years...but whatever. It seems that these ancient cambodegyptoaztecs used to worship the Predators. The predators like to hunt things, and what better to hunt than the aliens from Alien. So they built this pyramid as a hunting preserve for killing aliens. So the chest bursting, face hugging, acid bleeding fun begins. The Pyramid activates and makes friggin aliens by unfreezing a queen or whatever. Then they kill alot of people.
The black girl who likes to climb ice and glaciers and shit then team up with the Predator to kill lots of aliens, which they do. This is the buddy picture part. At the end the kill the queen and the predator gives his life to save the girl and she receives his hunting stick by his alien tribe thing. Then at the end the dead predator is on the ship and "DUM DUM DUM!" an alien bursts from his chest! Oh NO!
I tell you no movie more captured the Zeitgeist of our times more than Alien Vs. Predator. It taught me to love again...and that there is still hope. If a rasta-squid predator and a black girl that climbs ice and glaciers and stuff can get together, set aside their differences and get together to stop a gang of aliens...why can't we all learn from this. The Predator could teach us all something.

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