Snake man

So I went to the DPS office today to get my drivers licence renewed. So I'm sitting there playing with my phone and so on, then an old Mexican man sits next to me. He wore a guayabera, greay slacks, and shoes like nurses wear. He begins to chat up the lady sitting next to him, who was a middle aged Hispanic lady. So he's talking to her trying to pick her up and she asks him what he does for a living. He replies that he is a curandero, a Mexican witch doctor. She tells him that she is a nurse. He then begins to tell her, "You know what makes the best medicine? RATTLESNAKES." He then begins to explain to her how he shops up and uses different rattlesnake parts for teas and medicines. Mind you I'm the only other Hispanic in there so I'm the only one understanding their Spanish talk because we were in Clear Lake. So then he tells her that not only are rattlesnakes good for medicine but it is also good for cleansing the spirit. He then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a rattlesnakes rattle that he shakes in the woman's face. Now she's getting uncomfortable. He tells her that he used it to expel an evil spirit in a girl somewhere. He explains to the nurse that he eats one rattlesnake heart a week to keep him virile, as if to say "hey baby, don't worry I take viagra." 'sept he's EATING RATTLESNAKE HEARTS! Then he takes out the severed dried head of a rattlesnake with fangs bared and shoves it in her face. Thankfully they called the woman's number, but his was behind her. Then he complained about his high blood pressure.

The moral: If you are going to pick up chicks at the DPS...LEAVE YOUR SEVERED SNAKE BITS AT HOME!